So, then why the hell can't I get green lights... Ever?
I have uPnP enabled on my router, and when I open bittornado and see what port it's using in the advanced menu, and I go into my router's settings, under uPnP port forwarding, that port is opened for my ip on my LAN, and it even says what program is using it. And even when I opened all the port ranges I could use manually in the regular port forwarding section, I still never get a green light. I turned off windows firewall and have no other firewall running. Actually my router's firewall is disabled as well, but I still used the port forwarding stuff just in case.
Also, the IP address that's reported to me at http://btfaq.com/natcheck.pl
is the correct IP address that my router is telling me is my WAN IP address. So it doesn't look to me like I've got a transparent proxy thanks to my ISP. What the fuck gives? There's absolutely NOTHING that should be hampering people's ability to connect to my pc via bittorrent, yet nobody can.